Humility In Relationship

Last evening I was reading from James and when I woke up, my thoughts went back to these verses.

James 4:6-10 NIV:
[6] "But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: “God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.” [7] Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. [8] Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. [9] Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. [10] Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up."

As I was meditating on these verses, I realized that they must be put into context of relationship to be properly understood. In the verses previous to these, James is warning the people about being adulterous in their relationship towards God, by also loving or being friends with the world.

For me, if I read these verses, especially verses 8 and 9, and put them in context of my relationship with my wife, they are easier to understand. If I somehow have missed the mark in my relating to my sweetheart, somehow causing her pain, sorrow or grief, I am distraught rather than joyful or happy. I want to restore our relationship to its previous state, or to an even better state of intimacy and affection. If I come to her in humility, recognizing my fault or failure and asking forgiveness, I am received much differently than if I were to approach her believing myself to be right. Its humility to recognize that I need her in my life mover than I need to be right.

In the same way, we should approach our relationship with the Lord. The Father loves us just as He loved Jesus (JN 17;23). We should be reading these verses with a sense of how our actions can hurt the one that we love (Jesus). We should be constantly monitoring our relationship and working to increase our level of intimacy and affection. We should be willing to lay down those things in our life that get in the way of our relationship. Ultimately we need to recognize that our need for God in our lives, outweighs our desire to be right or in control.

Continuing my meditation, I recognize that washing our hands is a sign or our desire to purify ourselves of all the things that have happened or gone on in the past. We need to lay down past hurts, things that we did, said or thought, and pursue God. We need to put our past in the past, was our hands of it, and embrace God. I also find it interesting that James addresses people's hearts when they are double minded. This is because it is a heart issue, its about relationship. Double-mindedness means that someone is having equal thoughts and affections towards someone or something else. James encourages them to change the way they think and act (repentance), so that they might restore their relationships with the Lord.

Finally this is not something we should be doing out of duty or religious expression, but rather because we have genuine affection. We must open our hearts, and see our need for God outweighs our need to be right or in control. We need to understand that in humbling ourselves before God, we are bowing before one who loved us so much that He died for us. We can be confident that as we approach the Lord, He will draw near to us as well, for He desires relationship too.