If A Brother Sins Against You...

This morning I was reading in Luke and came across a passage of Jesus speaking about sin and forgiveness that when viewed in the original language is very interesting. Here are the verses - Luke 17:3-4 NIV:

[3] "So watch yourselves.
“If your brother or sister sins against you, rebuke them; and if they repent, forgive them. [4] Even if they sin against you seven times in a day and seven times come back to you saying ‘I repent,’ you must forgive them.”

What is interesting is the word here translated rebuke. In the original Greek the word is Epitimao:

Definition
1. to show honour to, to honour
2. to raise the price of
3. to adjudge, award, in the sense of merited penalty
4. to tax with fault, rate, chide, rebuke, reprove, censure severely
a. to admonish or charge sharply

Now I am definitely not a Greek scholar, nor have I ever studied Greek at all, but I find it very interesting that the translation they use in this instance is the fourth, and secondary at that. If we replaced rebuke with words more in line with the first two definitions we would have a very different sentence. I actually think that there is some merit in using the first definition, so let me explain.

First, this is your brother or sister, one of your same family or someone you have an existing relationship with, so someone that is important in your life. Second, the Greek word for sin here is Hamartano whose definition is:1. to be without a share in 2. to miss the mark 3. to err, be mistaken 4. to miss or wander from the path of uprightness and honour, to do or go wrong 5. to wander from the law of God, violate God's law, sin. So, we could be talking about a whole range of offenses, from slight to severe, but I think we tend to assume the worst. What if we assumed the best? What if it was an unintentional missing of the mark, in other words they tried to do something right but made a mistake? For example, they bought you a gift that just wasn't right for you. They wanted to bless you but instead of the new phone you wanted they bought you an ironing board, because you needed one. It could be that benign, based on the Greek.

If we then apply the first definition of Epitimao, we would go to that person (our brother or sister who we love) and because we love them and value them and hold them in high honor in our life, we explain how their actions have affected us. We do this because we place great value in this relationship, and going to them actually is a way of showing them that, or even elevating their value. If we didn't care about them, we wouldn't be talking to them. Anyway, if they repent, (here the word in Greek is Metanoeo whose definition is:1. to change one's mind, i.e. to repent 2. to change one's mind for better, heartily to amend with abhorrence of one's past sins) we forgive them. In other words, we explain the situation because we love them, they understand how their actions have affected us and they decide to change how they think or act towards us, maybe even feel deep remorse because they love us in return. Often times they won't even know that they have offended us or missed the mark of their intentions, and because we love them and value them, we have given them insight into our heart and mind and helped them to love us better.

I like that scenario much better than the one that comes to mind when I first read those verses. I think that often times people have used these verses to judge and criticize their brother putting the responsibility on the brother or sister who sinned to repent, rather than seeing the importance and value that should be there. The object of this latter approach is to correct someone, rather than to lift them up and honor and value them. I think it often can become like a score sheet of criticism, where people keep track of all the wrongs, go to that person and tell them everything they did wrong, and require their repentance before they will forgive them. I think that approach misses the entire spirit of the original Greek, and thus probably the intention of the Lord.

Finally, a word about forgiveness. The Greek word here translated forgive is the word Aphiemi, whose definition is: 1. to send away a. to bid going away or depart 1. of a husband divorcing his wife b. to send forth, yield up, to expire c. to let go, let alone, let be 1. to disregard 2. to leave, not to discuss now, (a topic) 1c 2. of teachers, writers and speakers 1. to omit, neglect 1. to let go, give up a debt, forgive, to remit 2. to give up, keep no longer 3. to permit, allow, not to hinder, to give up a thing to a person 4. to leave, go way from one. In other words, there is a permanence, a releasing and not going back to. So often forgiveness is some sort of conditional experience, but that is not the meaning of the word. You can't cancel a debt and then reinstitute it. The word Aphiemi is actually an intense version of the word Eimi that means to go, so it means to really go so that there is significant separation. I believe that is what Jesus meant, that forgiveness is supposed to be permanent, and cause the hurtful action to be brought up no more, for it is no longer present. The Lord provided a beautiful picture of this in Psalm 103:11-12 NIV: "For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; [12] as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us."

So my encouragement this morning is to love and honor those who sin against me, taking this approach rather than a critical approach when I explain to them how they might have hurt me or offended me. I will choose to really forgive them, to cast their transgression away and never revisit it. I choose to invest in and honor those that I love and value and work to strengthen our relationships, over and over and over.