Why Mary Waits?

Yesterday, I started a reflection on Mary, the sister of Lazarus, around the death of her brother, and how she responded and how Jesus interaction with her.  It was quite helpful.

I felt led to go back to the Gospel of John, chapter eleven, which is the story of Lazarus.  However, today the focus is on the sisters, specifically Mary, and how she dealt with their brother's death.  They had sent a message to Jesus, telling Him that their brother was sick, and he had arrived too late.  I can only imagine the frustration and pain they experienced, the hopes dashed, the anxious waiting in hope, followed by crushing grief when Lazarus died.  

Lately the Lord has been dealing with me, and helping me to see an offense I have had in my heart related to things that `didn't turn out the way I thought they would, especially since I followed what I felt was His direction.  About 5 years ago He spoke to me during a difficult time that there was going to be a Lazarus-like restoration to a difficult job situation.  I had my hope on His word, and while I was going through a tough time, I figured if it was going to be like Lazarus, I could hold out.  Now 5 years later, I find myself still basically in that same situation, still working to overcome my frustration, my offense, my anger at my situation.  I can't imagine how the sisters felt, but I am sure they had similar, but deeper issues.  Believe me, I am not trying to say what I have gone through was as anywhere near as tough as what the sisters experienced, but maybe its just a small taste of what they experienced.

Anyway, here is John's remembrance of the events - John 11:17-35 NIV:

[17] "On his arrival, Jesus found that Lazarus had already been in the tomb for four days. [18] Now Bethany was less than two miles from Jerusalem, [19] and many Jews had come to Martha and Mary to comfort them in the loss of their brother. [20] When Martha heard that Jesus was coming, she went out to meet him, but Mary stayed at home. 

[21] “Lord,” Martha said to Jesus, “if you had been here, my brother would not have died. [22] But I know that even now God will give you whatever you ask.” 

[23] Jesus said to her, “Your brother will rise again.” 

[24] Martha answered, “I know he will rise again in the resurrection at the last day.” 

[25] Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; [26] and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?” 

[27] “Yes, Lord,” she replied, “I believe that you are the Messiah, the Son of God, who is to come into the world.” 

[28] After she had said this, she went back and called her sister Mary aside. “The Teacher is here,” she said, “and is asking for you.” [29] When Mary heard this, she got up quickly and went to him. [30] Now Jesus had not yet entered the village, but was still at the place where Martha had met him. [31] When the Jews who had been with Mary in the house, comforting her, noticed how quickly she got up and went out, they followed her, supposing she was going to the tomb to mourn there. 

[32] When Mary reached the place where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.” 

[33] When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. [34] “Where have you laid him?” he asked. 

“Come and see, Lord,” they replied. 

[35] Jesus wept."

So the first thing that comes to mind, is why did Mary stay home when she heard that Jesus was on the way?  I have no reason scripturally to support this, but I think she was too wounded.  She was clearly all about relationship with Jesus (Luke 10:38), and had experienced the Lord taking her side, concerning her desire to be with Him, so I am thinking that she might have felt the disappointment more fully, having the possibly deeper relationship.  

I believe she loved deeply and thus felt the wounding deeply, when Lazarus died. I am sure they had heard, and even possibly seen the miracles and healings Jesus had worked.  We know from Luke, that they had experienced His amazing love for them.  I am thinking  they were bold in their faith initially, believing that surely Jesus would come, but that she must have been crushed when Lazarus died. I know I would be so tempted to blame Him, but in this case they probably didn't know what had delayed him, so maybe not as much as we would think, as our perspective is clearly in retrospect.

Anyway, she hears Jesus is finally coming and she stays where she is, in mourning. It isn't until Martha returns and tells her that Jesus was asking for her, that she actually went to Him.  Again, this to me points to her woundedness and disappointed heart.  Even though Martha had come first and was clearly mourning her brother, it was the sight and experience of Mary's grief that moved Jesus' heart.  

I am so grateful that John included this whole story, even these intimate details, because in the place of my own frustration and disappointment, I felt like the Lord didn't care, and I am sure there was some doubt in Mary's mind as well.  Clearly Jesus DID care, and fully comprehended the depth of her grief, and probably even the depth of her offense.  He had seen similar offense when He visited his home town of Nazareth (Matt 13:57), after beginning His ministry, and I am sure He was aware of that now, in Mary.  

He understood the pain His delay caused her.  

He understood the depth of her grief, for he had lost His own father Joseph, and had not been released to intervene by His Father in Heaven.  

He understood how she could be angry, even unbelieving.

He understood that she had placed all her hope in Him.

He understood that in her eyes, it was too late.

He also understood what the Father had planned, and though His heart was stirred by the Glory that was about to be released (see verses 23-27 above) He met her in her grief, pain, frustration and had compassion, to the point that He wept!

The Lord understands and IS impacted by our pain, by our confusion, by our dashed hopes, by our misunderstanding, by our anger, frustration and even unbelief!  He gets it, and He meets us there!  He doesn't reject us for our unbelief!  He doesn't remain aloof and rebuke us for our fear, uncertainty, doubt or anger.  He meets us there and is moved by the pain our hearts are in!  

We must not miss this most important point!  The Lord knows exactly what we are feeling, for He became human himself and experienced the same emotions in His life here!  He knows what we are going through, and He is with us in that pain!

I was also thinking about all the people that were with Mary.  It is interesting that John includes that detail in verse 33.  I believe that these could be people that were the ones Mary had been telling about how Jesus was going to heal Lazarus.  These represent for all of us those that are aware of our situation, those that have walked with us through our hopes and our disappointments, those who might share our pain, even share our offenses.  You see the Lord doesn't just want to touch us, He wants to touch all those around us!  It is so interesting that they were all there to bear witness to Mary's pain, and to what came next.

Now, lets go back to Jesus.  This is where the story gets good, though, for Jesus also knows what is going to happen that will bring the Father Glory!  He told the disciples before they ever even left to go to Lazarus, “This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God's glory so that God's Son may be glorified through it.” (John 11:4 NIV)  God has a plan, and believe it or not, it is GOOD!  It will bring Him Glory, and if we allow ourselves to see, it will heal our hearts!  We will come to understand who He really IS, and we will understand how much He cares for us!

Now, I don't know how my situation will end, but I do know He gets my pain, my frustration and even my unbelief and in spite of those He loves me in that place!  HE doesn't reject me!  He isn't waiting for me to get my heart and mind right, or for me to work myself up in faith!  He is moved by my coming to Him and falling at His feet, and expressing my emotion, my frustration and my disappointment.  

He does have a great plan for me, and for all of us, and it will result in His Glory!

His plan is better than what I think it should have been.

His plan is bigger than I can imagine.

His Love for me, moves His heart.

He will, in the perfect time, roll back the stone and speak into the situation with the authority and power that only He has!

Amen and Amen!  Come Quickly Lord Jesus!