Yesterday I started a reflection that is both humorous and sad, relating to the Apostles self focus and inability to see what the Lord was doing in their midst. It is both encouraging, in the Lord’s mercy, and discouraging as it shows how clueless we can be, and how easily we can become distracted.
I am reading from where I left off in Luke 22, the remaining discussion at the Last Supper. Immediately after Jesus institutes communion the following occurs - Luke 22:20-30 NIV:
[20] In the same way, after the supper he took the cup, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in my blood, which is poured out for you. [21] But the hand of him who is going to betray me is with mine on the table. [22] The Son of Man will go as it has been decreed. But woe to that man who betrays him!” [23] They began to question among themselves which of them it might be who would do this.
[24] “A dispute also arose among them as to which of them was considered to be greatest. [25] Jesus said to them, “The kings of the Gentiles lord it over them; and those who exercise authority over them call themselves Benefactors. [26] But you are not to be like that. Instead, the greatest among you should be like the youngest, and the one who rules like the one who serves. [27] For who is greater, the one who is at the table or the one who serves? Is it not the one who is at the table? But I am among you as one who serves. [28] You are those who have stood by me in my trials. [29] And I confer on you a kingdom, just as my Father conferred one on me, [30] so that you may eat and drink at my table in my kingdom and sit on thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel.”
The two verses I underlined could probably be titled, “how to completely miss the most important event in the world by being focused on yourself!” It is amazing to me how often we see this type of response where Jesus unloads some amazing revelation, and the apostles seem to totally miss it.
Maybe it’s just the way it has been recorded, but I think there is something here, that is being communicated by those who were replaying the events to Luke (as He wasn’t present). Maybe I am reading more into the text than is really there, but Jesus has just instituted Communion, the sharing of His Body and Blood, which in the early church was one of the primary components of the Lord’s Supper and one of the most significant revelations of the Lord!! I would think that there would have been more said about that by the Apostles in the retelling, but instead, we see Jesus speak about His betrayal and betrayer, and the Apostles beginning to wonder among themselves who would do such a thing? They went from sharing the most intimate experience with the Lord, to arguing about who would betray Jesus. This seems too strange of a discussion change to be made up, or covered over. In the retelling of this event years later, this is how they remembered it.
Some of the other Gospel accounts make it seem like the question of who would betray Jesus is a legitimate question, in that they are all wondering If they might be the betrayer (See Matt 26:21-22). This makes me think that each of them had in their hearts and minds, doubts about Jesus, discontent possibly, and questions about this Kingdom that He spoke about all the time. He certainly wasn’t acting like someone you would think was going to be a King. I don't think the question of who would possibly betray Jesus was rhetorical or a set up for Judas, but a real heart-level question they were each struggling with internally. Their focus seemed to shift from Jesus to them, and we see this in the next bit of conversation.
As recorded by Luke, the Apostles then slide into probably the most inappropriate conversation ever, arguing about who was the greatest, as Jesus is preparing to suffer and be crucified! It is as if everything Jesus had just done and said previously gets drowned out in their self-focus.
Truthfully, this is so much like us, or at least me! I can’t tell you the number of times where I have had amazing revelation from the Lord, life changing experiences and then immediately completely lose my focus and find myself completely wrapped up in my own selfish thoughts or pursuits. When that happens to me, after I regain my senses, I feel a deep sense of shame for not really embracing what the Lord was doing, sometimes even thinking that I have disqualified myself by my own stupidity!
Here the Lord is inviting them to share Body and Blood, inviting them to partake in the greatest sacrifice of all time, joining themselves to Him that they might receive the gift of salvation, forgiveness of sins and restoration of real relationship with the Father, and they are arguing who the greatest is among themselves. They had turned completely away from the Lord and were only looking at themselves!
Here is where I am greatly encouraged, for this chain of events doesn’t disqualify them, for they become the very foundation of the Church, that earthly representation of the Body of Christ! Jesus doesn’t roll his eyes, and walk away, He knew their hearts, their nature and still entrusted His entire ministry to them! In the midst of their utter stupidness, and self-focus, Jesus knew they would persevere and fulfill their purposes!
In the same way God knows us, He sees us as we are and what we will become and insists that even in our stupidness, in our self-focus, in our selfish pursuits, that His choosing us, in dying for us, in forgiving our sins, in opening the way for relationship, is worth it! He chooses rightly! If He has chosen us, He knows how bad we can and will mess it up, but will not disqualify us!
There is hope for all of us, forgiveness for all of us, and mercy and compassion for us, in spite of our failures and selfishness. This is why I think these verses were recorded! The authors of the Gospels weren’t trying to hide their weaknesses, their own stupidity, their complete distraction, but rather showing us in the midst of all that God was present, and working and His will and choice was right.
Oh Lord, how can You even begin to trust Your ministry to men such as me, and yet You do, over and over again! You see us like no one else, and You are perfect in Your wisdom, and never make mistakes! Help us to believe in You, in Your Lordship, and Your desire for relationship! Your choice is sure!
Thank You for Loving Me, for inviting me into relationship and trusting me to represent You to a world in need! Thank You for choosing me! Help me to believe that Your choice was right!
Amen and Amen!
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