This morning I am continuing my meditation that started yesterday morning. I am reading from Paul's letter to the Philippians. I am quite familiar with this book, so sometimes it takes a bit of rereading to make it fresh and alive. This morning I saw something in the second chapter that is worth thinking about some more. Here are the verses, which are bookends to a thought Paul had - Philippians 2:1-5, 19-22 NIV:
[1] "Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, [2] then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. [3] Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, [4] not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.
[5] In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:
[19] I hope in the Lord Jesus to send Timothy to you soon, that I also may be cheered when I receive news about you. [20] I have no one else like him, who will show genuine concern for your welfare. [21] For everyone looks out for their own interests, not those of Jesus Christ. [22] But you know that Timothy has proved himself, because as a son with his father he has served with me in the work of the gospel."
As I was reading this chapter, Paul's use of the phrase "own interests" in verse 4 and verse 21 is what caught my attention. I believe that we could replace that phrase with a more modern term "selfishness" which Paul uses in verse 3. In fact, as I look at the verses I have quoted, it is clear that we can have three areas of concern, for ourselves, for others and for Christ. Paul clearly encourages us to embrace concern for the latter two, while rejecting the first, self concern.
This is a very unpopular theme in our modern day of self focus and pursuit of pleasure. We are bombarded with marketing and sales pitches that appeal to our selfishness. One of my wife's favorite clothes catalogs has the following theme boldly proclaimed on its front cover, "my time. my place. my self." It is actually a nice catalog filled with beautiful clothes, but the message is very clear. They are appealing to the selfishness inherent in their audience. Burger King's sales pitch used to be "Have it your way". These are just a couple of examples of a widely used approach and Paul would tell us to reject them with our whole heart and with our whole mind.
Instead, he encourages us to "value others above ourselves" and "not looking to our own interests but each of you to the interests of others". I don't think this was an encouragement to watch reality TV or gossip, but rather an encouragement to change the way we think, to change our mindset. This is not a simple thing to do for our natural selfish instinct is alive and well at an early age. All we need to do is observe a couple of 2 year-olds and it will be clear that their concept of "mine" is already well developed.
So how do we go about changing our mindset, especially one that is so well established at an early age? I believe the answer is love. In fact, I would say it is love and relationship. I know in my life the single greatest change in my selfish perspective came when I got married. I had lived in a large family and had great relationships with my siblings and parents, but my self-focus was still alive and well. However, when I got married, I really had the opportunity to change the way I thought, and I am glad to say that I embraced that opportunity. I think that in the greater number of failed marriages, one of the biggest reasons for failure is selfishness. I am no expert in marriage or counseling, so this is based on observation, but I know our success in marriage so far is related to our ability to consider one another's interests as equal or of more value than our own. It is in laying down our own lives for each other that we become one.
In the same way, it is in loving one another the way Christ loved us (John 13:34), laying down our lives for one another (1 John 3:16) that we become like-minded, "being one in spirit and of one mind". It is impossible to be unified if we are unwilling to lay down our lives, for this is not about everyone becoming like me. In the same way, our call is to follow Christ to daily lay down our lives (Matt 16:24). We are called to become like Him, not the other way around.
While I was thinking more about this, I felt like the Lord said that part of laying down one's life is being transparent with one another. We tend to resist full disclosure of our lives because we fear rejection if we do. We hold back, and in doing so we limit the depth of our relationships. In our churches we tend to put on our "Sunday best" our attitudes and images of having our lives together, of living right, of being holy, etc. If we only reveal that image to others, then our relationships will only be that deep, and based on that lie. As an example, I was talking with a pastor friend and He was bemoaning the fact that he can never have a real conversation with anyone in his church, because everyone is trying to keep up appearances. I find that statement completely accurate. It is only in the place of sharing life and walking together through good and bad, exciting and challenging, sickness and health, that we really know others. We are called to this in marriage, the best example of unity and oneness that we have, and we, I believe, are called to this same type of transparency in our relationships with our brothers and sisters in the Body of Christ.
I think that is probably one of the most personally challenging things I have ever written, for it goes against my strongly held desire for self preservation. My fear of man causes me to believe that if I share who I am, I will be rejected and judged and the image I have projected will be destroyed. In thinking about that, I find it very interesting, for even the thought of destruction of the image I have projected comes against my desire for self-preservation, yet it is the destruction of something that is false. I think the root of this is pride and fear. We are unwilling to show our weakness, our need, our true self, and we do so to maintain a false image of ourselves to others. We want others to believe we are better than we are, thus we put on airs, we puff our-selves up, we act holy, all of which are focused on our self, and thus are defined as prideful. All the while we do this, we fear that someone will discover the truth, and know us as we really are, and reject us.
It is only in the context of love, that I believe we can break free of this false-image projecting life-style. I have plenty of relationships with people, some I work with, some I know through other means, and I would be hard challenged to lay-down my life for any of those people. They aren't bad or anything, it is just that I don't love them. Now, on the other hand, I wouldn't hesitate to lay down my life for my family or for my close friends, and the difference is the context of love. This is why it is so important to have both in the Body of Christ, relationships and love. That is why the Lord commands us to love one another as He has loved us (John 13:34). It is in the context of love, connected by love, trusting in love, that we are able to become one, even as He and the Father are one (John 17:21).
This is the path we must tread if we desire to change our mindset, to look to the concerns of others, to become "one in spirit and of one mind." In this, we become like Christ, and we take on His interests and concerns as well, for this is His prayer and His desire. Jesus prayed the following, [20]“My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, [21] that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. [22] I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one--- [23] I in them and you in me---so that they may be brought to complete unity. Then the world will know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me." (John 17:20-23NIV)
In summary, I am greatly challenged this morning to love one another, to lay down my life, to be transparent with those people the Lord has given me relationship within the Body of Christ. I am greatly challenged to desire a changed mindset, a new way of thinking that is in stark contrast to the selfishness that is holed-up in my inner being.
Lord help me! It is only in You, in the safety of my identity in You, that I will ever have the courage and strength to truly lay down my life.
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