This morning I felt like reading out of John's Gospel, and am thinking about the relationships of Mary and Martha with Jesus. Here are the specific verses - John 11:20-22, 28-35 NIV:
[20] "When Martha heard that Jesus was coming, she went out to meet him, but Mary stayed at home. [21] “Lord,” Martha said to Jesus, “if you had been here, my brother would not have died. [22] But I know that even now God will give you whatever you ask.”
[they have a bit of a conversation here which I did not include here]
[28] "After she had said this, she went back and called her sister Mary aside. “The Teacher is here,” she said, “and is asking for you.” [29] When Mary heard this, she got up quickly and went to him. [30] Now Jesus had not yet entered the village, but was still at the place where Martha had met him. [31] When the Jews who had been with Mary in the house, comforting her, noticed how quickly she got up and went out, they followed her, supposing she was going to the tomb to mourn there.
[32] When Mary reached the place where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died.” [33] When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled.
[34] “Where have you laid him?” he asked.
“Come and see, Lord,” they replied.
[35] Jesus wept."
As I was re-reading this story this morning, I was struck by the personal nature of the relationships Jesus had with each of the sisters. We know from the previous story of Mary at His feet, and Martha busying herself about the house (Luke 10: 38-42) that they were very different personalities, and that they likely related to Jesus differently. There have been plenty of commentaries written about their interaction, and Jesus' comments, but my one thought today is that regardless of our attitude or relationship, Jesus meets us where we are at and is comfortable with our position. In other words, He understands us all and will not require us to change the way we think and act to have a relationship with us.
So back to Martha and Mary - Martha goes out in pursuit of the Lord, while Mary just stays home, even though she knows that Jesus is coming. I find this interesting - Mary was the one (according to Luke) who wouldn't separate herself from the Lord, and yet when the opportunity to approach Him about her brother Lazarus comes, she stays home. I think this reflects on her deep sorrow and disappointment. She had this deep intimate relationship with the Lord, her brother gets deathly sick and she sends messengers to the Lord but He doesn't come in time to save her brother. I am pretty sure she felt completely let down in her faith in the Lord. She couldn't begin to understand how He would not hear her and respond to her request, coming immediately when she asked for help. I imagine in her mind and heart that was actually every bit as significant of a loss as her brother's death. I think she was despairing the loss of her brother and her relationship with Jesus.
I wonder how many of us have lost faith due to the death of a loved one? We cry out, we have all sorts of logic as to why the Lord should save our loved one, why they should continue living, all the good they were doing, and our incredible love, and yet they die - so we conclude that the Lord either doesn't love us or doesn't really listen to our prayers. The reality is that neither is an accurate perspective.
Martha, was more pragmatic, but still had a deep relationship with Jesus, so much so that she felt comfortable to leave her sister and family friends to go meet Jesus as soon as she heard He was coming. It seems to me that sometimes a dose of pragmatism is helpful in dealing with difficult situations. Martha lost no time in going to Jesus once again, knowing in her heart that He wasn't like anyone else. She probably figured that He was likely detained by something after their summons concerning Lazarus, but the fact that He was here now meant anything was possible. She was grieving but hopeful, and knew her relationship with Him allowed her to approach Him and speak with Him. Jesus was so gracious to her in His response, leading her gently to grow in her faith.
Getting back to Mary, Jesus is aware that she has not come to Him, and specifically invites her through her sister Martha. This is not about Him refusing to go to her, but really an invitation to re-enter relationship. She did go to Him, inspired and encouraged by the fact that He had asked about her, for this showed He still cared. She fell at His feet, and laid the accusation of her heart on Him. Instead of being angry at her words, Jesus was clearly moved and John describes His reaction. The Greek words used describe someone who is groaning outwardly, almost snorting and charging towards the foe (in this case death), and mourning deeply. He was clearly moved - and I believe He feels the same way about any of our losses. He is not cold and disconnected but rather very much impacted by our grief and sorrow, and empathetic towards our pain. I am reminded of the apparent fact that He had to stand by and watch His earthly father, Joseph, die and could not reveal himself yet. He understands grief, and personal loss. He understands our pain, our accusations, our sorrow, our anger, our rejection of belief, all the ugliness that pours out when we are grieving our loss. He shares our deep sense of sorrow for each of us is precious to Him. I believe He wept for Mary and Martha.
This morning I am reminded of the fact that Jesus loves me, understands me, and is gracious to me, in spite of my pain, sorrow, and grief. He meets me where I am, invites me back into relationship, and shares my pain. Lord thank You for Your amazing and comforting love and relationship.
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