This morning, and truthfully for the last few days, I have been feeling pretty disconnected from the Lord, thinking about my future and a bit concerned that things are not working the way I had hoped they would with my new job. I find that often times like these, bring with them a season of finding it difficult to connect to the Lord. It is like the dry season financially leads to a dry season spiritually. As I think about this, I realize I am not that different than the Israelites being led through the desert. As soon as things got a little tense they started turning away from God. I am trying desperately to not turn away from God, instead doubling down, but still feeling that dryness.
Lord, You know everything, You led me down this path, and You know our need. I am asking that You help me to stand firm, to trust, to have faith, to continue to press into You in spite of my concerns and worries. I have done everything I can, that I have felt You asked me to do, to surrender my life to You.
As I wrote that last sentence, I felt like there were two things that came to mind. 1) I haven't been reaching out to pray for people who need it...effectively holding back any blessing that He wants to pour on them (mostly out of unbelief and fear of man). 2) I have something I felt like the Lord asked me to do, and I haven't moved it forward yet.
Of the two, the first really just resonated with me. How can I withhold something the Lord wants to give away. It's similar to what Bruce Wilkinson describes in his Book, "You Were Born For This:", where he describes setting aside money in your wallet that is God's money, to be spent only on those or what He tells you to do, most often people. For those who haven't read this book, it is a great practical primer on how to be more involved in dispersing the blessings of God. Anyway, I liked this idea of having God's dedicated money in my wallet, because this involves already having made the decision to dedicate it to God, and now its just a matter of timing and learning to listen to how He wants to spend His money.
In the same way, I saw this as applying to the prayer for people, to taking a moment to pray for that need which was just described. Rather than just saying I will be praying for them, instead taking a moment right then to pray and release God's blessing over them. These verses come to mind from Matthew 10:7-8 NIV: "As you go, proclaim this message: 'The kingdom of heaven has come near.' [8] Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse those who have leprosy, drive out demons. Freely you have received; freely give."
I think there is a bit of a log-jam on my side, and I am holding back things the Lord wants to release through me, and I am doing so out of fear of man. Its not like I need to start with complete stranger, I have enough friends in need, that I talk to regularly, that could use a touch from the Lord, and a touch from a caring brother. Compassion was often times a precursor to the miracles that Jesus performed! Six times, it specifically says that Jesus had compassion for the people in Matthew and Mark's Gospel, and each time, ended up performing miracles and healings, either himself or through His Apostles.
Looking at the first mention of this is Matthew's Gospel we find the following story - Matthew 9:35-38 NIV:
[35] Jesus went through all the towns and villages, teaching in their synagogues, proclaiming the good news of the kingdom and healing every disease and sickness. [36] When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. [37] Then he said to his disciples, “The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. [38] Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field.”
Jesus then goes on in the very first bit of Chapter 10 (These times are not separate, they are just separated into chapters for readability) to send out the 12 Apostles, to proclaim the Good News as quoted above. His compassion for His people is endless, and at present we are the ones He is sending. We have been given the same authority, for we minister out of the power of the Holy Spirit, just as He did, just as the Apostles did.
Lord, help me to decide today to be ready to actually pray for someone today. Help me to have the Holy Spirit enflamed courage to stop and take time to pray right then. Help me to leave the effectiveness of the Prayer up to you, for I can do nothing on my own, other than join my compassion to Yours. Lord, I surrender my fear of man to You, and I choose to give freely, for I have freely, through Your grace, received so much!
Amen, help me Lord Jesus.
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