The Importance of Family

This morning I am reflecting on a couple of verses from John's Gospel that occur just before Jesus' death.  Here are the verses - John 19:25-27 NIV:

[25] "Near the cross of Jesus stood his mother, his mother's sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene. [26] When Jesus saw his mother there, and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to her, “Woman, here is your son,” [27] and to the disciple, “Here is your mother.” From that time on, this disciple took her into his home."

I was wondering why I felt led to these verses, as in the greater scheme of Jesus' passion, death and resurrection they are almost a footnote.  However, I felt like the Lord was highlighting them this morning, to identify the importance of family in times of loss and distress.  In these verses, immediately before dying, Jesus takes care of His mother Mary.  He entrusts her to John, and John notes that from that day forward Mary lived with him.  We believe that Jesus had brothers (see Matt 12:46; John 2:12; John 7:5) and yet He asked John to take her into His home.

Several years ago I was meditating on this verse, and decided to look at all the accounts of Jesus' death, and realized that "his mother's sister" as described by John, was actually the mother of James and John, the wife of Zebedee (see Matt 27:56), and thus John's mom.  As in the rest of His Gospel, John didn't refer to himself by name, often referring to himself as the one Jesus loved, or even one of the sons of Zebedee, in this case He didn't call out the fact that His mom was actually Mary's sister, making him Jesus' first-cousin.

The importance here this morning, seems to be that during times of loss and difficulty that Jesus is highlighting the significance of family, and even extended family.  Jesus knew that His mother would need support and protection, and thus He asked John to take her in (at least that is my opinion).  Dealing with a loved one's death is excruciating, and Jesus knew the next few days, and the following years would be very difficult, and by asking John to take Mary in, was effectively surrounding her with her own family (her sister) and hiding her somewhat from what would surely come, namely persecution of His family, friends and followers.

This morning, I am more aware of the importance of family in this time of social distancing, and sheltering in place.  It is so easy for us to withdraw into our own cocoon of protection and self-preservation, that we can inadvertantly reduce our communication with and support of our family, and extended family.  We are all dealing with loss in this time, loss of freedom, loss of relational interaction.  In fact, as I was thinking about this present situation, I realized that many are experiencing stages of grief as identified by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.  As we look back at the last few weeks, I think many of us could see a very similar pattern in our lives, and may even find that we are somewhere on this scale even now.

As I reflect back to Jesus' direction to Mary and John, I see Him placing her somewhere where she could be supported and loved during her time of grief.  It was highly likely that Mary was present when Jesus ascended, and even if she wasn't, the fact that He was no longer present on earth meant she was going to be grieving His absence.  Being with her sister would provide her family support that she would not have likely received had she gone back to Nazareth.

Anyway, my thought this morning, is that we all need to be connecting with our families during this time.  We need to make sure that social distancing does not decrease our relational connectedness.  Secondly, it is important that we support our family members as they deal with this present situation.  This is like nothing most of us have ever experienced and we are all trying to find our way, and make our way through.  It is important that we connect regularly with the ones we love, with those who love us unconditionally.  It is important that we look to our families, and look after our families.  It is VERY important that we check in regularly with our parents, especially those that might be alone.  We see people coming together to help one another, and God has given us families as our first and most important social group.  Generally, our brothers and sisters know us like no one else, and staying in contact with one another during times like these is so important.

In summary, let us strengthen one another, and strengthen our family ties during this period.  Let us choose to invest in relationships even in this time of social distancing.  Let us choose to come along side one another and help each other.  Let us give grace to one another as we go through the stages of grief over the loss of so much that is familiar.  Let us look tot hose around us who have lost jobs, and family members and let us welcome them into our families - through phone calls, video-chats, or whatever means necessary.  Let us pray for a strengthening of our families and society through this time.

Amen.